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Good manners matter, officials learn

Perfectly Polished Instructor Debra Lassiter provides etiquette insight to elected officials

by Kevin Duffy, AJC • January 23, 2006

Pity the poor uncouth politician.

He says “hi” instead of “hello” which administers a bone-crusher handshake. He flails his hands when he talks. He finishes his dinner roll in two bites and he wears his napkin in his collar. And for the life of him, he can’t remember names.

Uncouth may be popular at home, but when it comes to courting new business – especially foreign business accustomed to more formal interaction – his manners can leave a bad aftertaste.

So when Debra Lassiter, owner of “Perfectly Polished” in Athens told 45 city official from all over Georgia, “Even if it is the toughest piece of meat you’ve ever had in your life, you so not saw” – she had their rapt attention.

An effervescent etiquette expert who fancies the expression “Oh, my stars,” Lassiter spent six hours Saturday going over the do’s and dont’s of eating, body language and conversation.

Trained at the Protocol School of Washington, Lassiter teaches “Business Diplomacy and Protocol,” part of the 48th annual May’s Day Converence, which ends today at the downtown Hilton. The three-day affair is put on by the Georgia Municipal Association, with help from the Carl Vinson Institue of Government at UGA.

Attendees sat through dry discourses about personnel law, lobbying and risk management. But in Lassiter’s class, they made amusing discoveries about sophisticated schmoozing.

“I didn’t realize they had a corkscrew butter remover,” remarked Dahlonega Councilman Bill Scott. It’s actually called a butter pick.

Lassiter’s survey of manners included distinguishing a fish fork from a strawberry fork; the “roll in, roll out” method of eating; and how to hold a galss, a plate and a napkin and still shake hands.

“The only acceptable form of touching in the U.S. is the right-to-right handshake,” she said. And when shaking hands avoid the “bone-crusher,” the “fingertip” and the “glove” – a two handed-style that ministers tend to like.

Braselton Mayor Pat Graham confessed to the group she sometimes had to resort to the glove for defensive purposes.

“I have an elected official who is a hugger,” Graham said. “The way I handle him is with a glove handshake.”

Politicians get enthusiastic about their cities. But Lassiter cautioned them not to gesticulate.

“If you talk with your hands,” she said, “people don’t remember 93% of what you say.”

Fred Boykin, a city commissioner in Decatur, admitted he’s a gesticulator. And an interrupter. And he likes to sprint to the conclusion.

“I tend to do a lot of the things she said not to do,” he admitted. “To me, it shows how lackadaisical we’ve become in our culture.”

Councilman L.J. Williams, who drove more than five hours from St. Mary’s on the coast to attend the conference, said proper etiquette is the polish on the presentation.

“We want to be right in every respect,” he said.

That includes preparing to sip a beverage at dinner.

You always bring the napkin to your mouth and blot,” Lassiter said. “Then you are free to drink. If you are eating crusty bread, you don’t want that in your glass.”

And when it comes to entering and exiting a seat, always go right. No one was more surprised to hear that than Griffin City Commissioner Bill Landrum. For years, he said, he’s been going left.

It’s a wonder there hasn’t been an accident.

Published in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Monday, January 23, 2006.

Tagged: etiquette, elected officials, ajc, debra lassiter